Had a knock at the door late last night. Didn't help that I had had an early night. But I'm sure u know the knock I mean. You look out the window and think "Fuck me its got real foggy out there" Bang Bang Bang - u cant avoid it (well some people do...) Face up to your demons, your conscience or whatever the bollox is - it had to go...didnt it eh...tossing and turning all night...it was the bird wasn't it...yeah of course it was...wasn't it? Could I be 100% sure in my own mind? No. Realistically I'm ticking a bird out to sea that I saw and could have been something else and relying on other birders to say it was one. Something did not seem right.
Other comments on public forums did not make me do it, but they did make me think...where do you draw the line..when does it go on, when doesnt it...so like the Audouins Gull last year....OMFL (Off My Fucking List)...not that AG ever made it on. Dont get me wrong, there are other birders out there with better skills than me who saw it too and if they want to count it, I have no issues, its just not for me. Having said that there are much better birders out there who saw what I saw and have not counted it - doesnt seem right that I should...does it? Who the fuck am I? Its not that I've seen loadz abroad and got the gizz and behaviour bollox down to a tee is it? I want the list a pure as possible...thats not a load of bollox excuse (and some may say I'm sad or misguided), but it does weigh down in my mind otherwise if u open up the floodgates all sorts of shit creeps on. I'm probably opening up the door for shit with other birds in the future that may have a tenuous grip on the list, oh well, fuck it, it's my list. I'm not in the UK TenPastEight Club...this time. Anyway, ROYAL TERN NOML - job done - back to 387 BOU. Will I make it to 400BOU this year? Will I fuck at this rate.
