A Visit From The Listing Police

Monday 22nd June: 

Had a knock at the door late last night. Didn't help that I had had an early night. But I'm sure u know the knock I mean. You look out the window and think "Fuck me its got real foggy out there" Bang Bang Bang - u cant avoid it (well some people do...) Face up to your demons, your conscience or whatever the bollox is - it had to go...didnt it eh...tossing and turning all night...it was the bird wasn't it...yeah of course it was...wasn't it? Could I be 100% sure in my own mind? No. Realistically I'm ticking a bird out to sea that I saw and could have been something else and relying on other birders to say it was one. Something did not seem right. 

Other comments on public forums did not make me do it, but they did make me think...where do you draw the line..when does it go on, when doesnt it...so like the Audouins Gull last year....OMFL (Off My Fucking List)...not that AG ever made it on. Dont get me wrong, there are other birders out there with better skills than me who saw it too and if they want to count it, I have no issues, its just not for me. Having said that there are much better birders out there who saw what I saw and have not counted it - doesnt seem right that I should...does it? Who the fuck am I? Its not that I've seen loadz abroad and got the gizz and behaviour bollox down to a tee is it? I want the list a pure as possible...thats not a load of bollox excuse (and some may say I'm sad or misguided), but it does weigh down in my mind otherwise if u open up the floodgates all sorts of shit creeps on. I'm probably opening up the door for shit with other birds in the future that may have a tenuous grip on the list, oh well, fuck it, it's my list. I'm not in the UK TenPastEight Club...this time. Anyway, ROYAL TERN NOML - job done - back to 387 BOU. Will I make it to 400BOU this year? Will I fuck at this rate.

Terned Out Bad in The End

20 June 15:08 - Probable Royal Tern - Llandudno

20 June 15:32 - MEGA African Royal Tern - Llandudno - shit me, time to make a move. After clearing the domestic side of things I was on the A5 heading to Shrewsbury to pick up Richard Vernon and go for this thing. On the way, plans changed and it ended up be the Pie Man who was going with me. Richard ended up going with Rob Stokes in a seperate car - dont ask - lifes too short.

Anyway we got there about 6.40pm to the news that it flew west about 30 mins previously. BOLLOX!!!! With not many birders about we forked out to drive along the toll road, hoping to see a group of manic listers somewhere along, but no such luck. We got around to the west end and saw a number of Midlands birders, but none had seen the birder. After a while, and getting bored of scanning we decided to go back to the pier and look from there. After about an hour and a quarter we were starting to get a little despondent with dark clouds rolling in, and visibility starting to deteriorate. However, just as I was about to fold up the scope and do a 95% Black Lark,  there was a call from a group of birders about 10m away from us that they had it!!! Flying high over the pier heading west. After a frantic few seconds we got on it in the bins and scope and had it for about a minute and a half before it was lost to view. Now lets be clear, views were not good, it was starting to fly away from us, however it was possible to detect a large tern with a big chunky bill, and dark primary tips. But no bloody orange bill!!!! Ah well, we had seen it and what else could it be? Royal Tern OML 388!!!!

Royal Tern, Llandudno Sat 20th June: Flying over the pier. Spot the orange bill? No, neither did I.

We moved over to the west side and hoped that it would show around here, but after about an hour it was obvious it had done one. So off home we went, and I felt quite lucky (guilty?) thinking how relatively easy it had been compared to the double dip of some listers. Oh well tough shit and all that!!

Little Bleeder in Somerset

Well after returning back from Turkey black as soot, I was much relived that I had not missed many megas, Oriental Pratincole being the only regrettable incident. I was pleased that the Little Bittern was still in Somerset, so I decided to go down on Sunday 14th with Richard V. I had a lie in, as I was still a bit jetlagged, and we finally left Lichfield about 4am, getting on site for 6am. Within about 10 minutes on the reserve we heard it calling, but with the fog (different fog to listing police) curtailing visibility to about 100 metres we were going to struggle to see it. We met up with one or two others and did a loop around where we thought it was calling, but again no luck, so we went back up to the old railway line and staked it out from there. After a while it was claimed in flight by a dubious couple of birders, flying left but we just could not get on it. However, I must say that it did not call again after that.

We decided to walk further down the railway line talking to several birders around the watchpoint area, some whom saw it at 4.45am - that'll teach us for having a lie in. By now the fog had lifted and we have good views of several Bitterns flying over, but naturally no sign of the Purple Heron. Time was pushing on and we wanted to be back home by early lunchtime, so at about 8.30am we decided on one last gasp, and go to where it was seen at 4.45am. No sooner had we got there, then it flew out of the reedbed from left to right at about 40 metres. Bloody good views and it really went down to the wire as we thought we would go home empty handed. 387 BOU thank you very much.

The way back to the car was interesting as there was a family to 2 Mute SWans and 4 cygnets on the path, which took about 20 minutes to negotiate around, which did not help the timekeeping plans. Oh, well all in all a successful morning, and off home we went.

Three Weeks of Nothing

Having worked most of this Bank Hol weekend and listers not turning anything up on Monday, my list will stagnate and do nothing for the next 3 weeks due to summer hols in Turkey. Normal service will resume in mid June, where upon megas may then continue to turn up again.

Two Prats and Job Finally Done

After missing out the previous weekend, it felt like a miracle that the two Pratincoles were still around, so not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth and with a day off on Fri 22nd, my day was planned. Had a lie in and was on the road for 2.30am getting to Grove Ferry for 5.30am, fighting off the deja vu and bad memories of two weeks ago, on the only day the Kentish patch birders failed to turn this bird up.

No sooner had I got out the car, then there were Turtle Doves purring all around, and after about 10 mins I finally saw one in one of the elder trees. I walked down towards the ramp with many Cettis and Sedge Warblers belting out, a big difference to two weeks ago when it was blowing a gale. With nothing from the ramp I checked the other two hides in Grove Ferry and had Avocet and Blackwit for my troubles. I then ventured towards Stodmarsh and aimed for Marsh Hide where it was regularly seen. I had a Reed Warbler on the way, on the boundary, and finally got to the hide about 6am. Had a good scan but apart from Coot, Kingfisher, Lapwing and Mute Swan there was not much about. Panic started to set in as there were no patch birders on site - what would I do? I decided to do another scan and sure enough there was a patch of mud with a Lapwing on, and another brown blob. I got the scope on it, and there it was, the Pratincole - it stood up and walked along the mud for a minute or two, then disappearing behind some vegetation and not to be seen again (by myself anyway until 7am), so after texting RBA, it was time to leave as there was still many people's birds to tick. I reported to RBA that it was there at 6.15am but they never reported it, until the next report at 7.15am. Twats.

Anyway, onwards to Lea Valley for another stab at the Savis Warbler. Got there about 9am with a disconsolate birder saying it had not been heard since 7.30am. Determined to nail it this time I settled in for a long wait. The other birder went and one other turned up. I played the song a few times and after about an hour, we heard it reeling for about 2 minutes on and off, though we did not see it. As the BOALP accep this species on "heard only" a huge sigh of relief flowed through me. Savi's at last and 198 BOU. I texted RBA with a 10am update, but it never came out. Bollox to them!!!

Fortunately we heard it well, as we had been told about other more desperate listers who had not heard it, but seen the aberrant Reed Warbler knocking about and had ticked this as Savi's which is much to the disdain of the Listing Police. It is thought a ruling about this will come out about this soon, via the BOALP monthly email bulletin. To subscribe email: desperatestringers@boalp.com

Great habitat for both Savi's and Reed Warblers

Having boxed this off I had to nip up to Cley to nail the other Prat of the day. So I lit the nitrogen tank and shot up the M11 and A11 and got into Norfolk about midday. On the way I had several text messages from other irate listers, who knew they had missed their chance the previous week...ah well!!!

I thought I would play it cool and try for the Honies at Great Ryburgh, but this did not go to plan as I struggled to find the watchpoint. I finally got there about 1.30pm and with only Hobby and Common Buzzard on the board, and no patch birders present, I decided to sack it and head for Cley. I should have gone to Swanton Novers in hindsight.....

Got to Cley about 2pm and asked a listing type in the visitors centre car park what the latest was. From Daukes hide was the response so off I marched along the track. Then I came up against a party of about 20 school children aged 8-10 years old who seemed to be heading exactly towards that hide. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO........!!!!!! I thought, you can't go there!!!! thats my hide today!!!! I marched faster and faster, caught them up and managed to barge past with a few clouts from my tripod legs in the process. That'll teach 'em I thought!!! I finally got to Daukes hide and was relieved to discover that the schoolchildren were going next door, so phew nothing to worry about there. I located the bird after about 10 mins, up in the air. It was flying around continuously for about 15 mins, but eventually landed not too far from the hide, and I managed this record shot:

Collared Pratincole: Cley, 22nd May 2009 - note paler upperparts compared to BWP and more extensive red at base of bill

I drove down to coastguards car park and nailed a Spoonbill on Billys Wash, and by then it was 3pm and decided to do a partial "Black Lark" and take a slow drive back along the north Norfolk coast. I had a celebratory pint of Aspalls in The George at Cley, followed by fishcake and chips at French's in Wells.

A celebratory pint of Aspalls at The George in Cley

Had a supportive text off Dave Western who was musing about doing the same at the weekend, and did the obligatory dip on Golden Pheasant at Wolferton.

All in all not a bad day with the year list at 200BOU and life 386 BOU, another 600 miles on the clock, and last weekends panic attacks firmly put to bed. I was now at peace....

Shadows In The Night

The annual late night pilgrimage to Cannock Chase was due as the elusive Night Shadows were surely there by now. A tough bird to get, but with plenty of darkness around then they should present themselves. After a few flyover Woodcocks it was getting quite tense, but then almost at the point of total darkness, the bird presented itself, neither being able to be seen or heard - ideal and a typical classic experience. Just what the doctor ordered for the year list and 194 BOU up!!

Classic Night Shadow environment. It could be here, it could be there, no one knows but we'll still tick it!!! If you can see it, note the strong bristles around its large gape, intended to increase the size of the "trapping funnel" The overall colouration and white spots on tail corners should rule out Egyptian Night Shadow to all but the most determined stringers....

Badgers, Greenfinches and Linnets - Birdless Birding and Where Did It All Go Wrong?

Hopes were high with a promising weather forecast. It was planned to pick me up at 6.15am and head due south - we were playing it cool you can see. There were 5 in the self proclaimed Spatwagon (see here http://www.spatbirders.blogspot.com for more info) myself, a crowned Shat, 4 Spats (Big V, Mr Stokes of the BOALP, Big D, and Dave Weston - a new tick on the Listers List of Listers (British)).

We trundled down the M5 with the intention of meeting Matt (the Twat) at Gordano, but I think his sat nav malfunctioned and we met him at Sedgemoor? Anyway onward we went and got to Exminster about half nine, and Big D duly nailed a Cirl Bunting for my year list. Then it was on to Dawlish Warren for the ever elusive KP which was a tart for all of our lists. The weather was shit and the birds werent much better - Knot, Ringed Plover, Dunlin, Sanderling and Whimbrel but no elusive KP, until we went into the hide...and there it was, why didnt we try there first!!!

Fuck Me...a C*ntish P!!!

With nothing else on offer except a dodgy Western Sand which didnt really raise the eye brows, we trudged forbiddenly over the golf course, and pitied the local listers who were seeming to be crying out for help

Go on, help save 'em

Then it was off to Portland Bill where the rest of our weekend would be based, full of anticipation of year ticks, lifers and megas. How different it was to be.... We got the the bill and checked in about 4pm. No porterage and 5 star service here, but a great place to crash for keen listers like ourselves.

After fighting over the presidential suite we decided to go out and do a seawatch. We had a few rock pipits on the way and settled in for some year ticks. It was a bit slow to start but we variously ticks Fulmars, Manxies, Bonxies and a couple of Pomarctic Skuas....whats that I hear you ask...well we thought they were Poms but it soon became obvious with derision from the lighthouse that in fact they were only Arctic Skuas. Not a bad try at stringing on the first day, what would the rest of the weekend bring....

Don't even think about it.. it wasnt one

In the evening we decided to go for some jars and Mike recommended a typical seedy joint, namely the Royal Portland Arms, a real ale pub for real beer drinkers. When we got there it was surprisingly quiet, but little were we to know what was around the corner. Pints of lager, real ale and 8% cider were consumed all around

Definitely before the 8% cider

The band came in and set up, and soon the pub filled right up. With a riotous noise, and clashing and banging the whole pub erupted into weird tribal dances along with the music to Who's Afear'd the local West Country Band. The music and atmosphere was surreal, which the locals , filled with alcohol, let down their guard and lost all inhibitions, dancing around to Cider Riots with the stuffed badger held proudly aloft.

There would now be a Cider Riot video, but I seem unable to load the video....apologies readers

It was painful heads the following day, even to the extent that Mr Stokes did not rise before 9.45am. So much for being a real ale and 8% cider merchant, his reputation was in ruins. Could he salvage anything from the embers with a major string - only time would tell

9.45am - Mr Insomniac Himself...

After a seawatch of sorts giving nothing really different from the previous day, we split up into micro groups of semi patch birders on tour, in the hope of pulling the mega out of the bag. No such luck. The east coast was heaving with listers and rarities with not a smattering down south. We managed a spot fly and wheatear between us all, and finally a long overdue puffin in a later sea watch.

We went to the Pulpit for pre dinner canapes and drinks, where it was established that a quiet night in, in earnest for a 5am seawatch was the most sensible thing. We tucked into a cuisine of beer, wine, pizza, chips, pies and more pies - staple listers fare. We mulled how poor the weekend was panning out and established that Fuck It we're all flushers when there's a tick to be had!!!

The real Portland Bill...listers, accept no imitations.

I awoke the next morning to the continuous pelting rain and lashing gales and thought bollox to it I aint going out in that!!! Finally surfaced about 9am when the clouds parted in true fair weather birder fashion. Another sea watch was in the offing (well what else was there really?) and by midday we all decided that it was a load of shite and decided to do what is now known across the hobby as a "Black Lark". A celebratory Tunnocks teacake before we left...

Not sure exactly what had crawled in and made its way in there...maybe a worm chased by a Worm Eating Warbler?

With dipping the Little Stint at Ferrybridge, that summed up the weekend.

Great company and great times but in terms of shallow listing quality for me it was poor, bringing me up to 193 for the year and a static 384 life list. It could have been 200 and 388 respectively but thats for another post.

EDIT: Other birds "seen" but not by myself were Red Blackstart, Mother Careys Chickens, Pomarine Dreams (in your), Western Dunlin and Slender -Billed Sparrow

Black Winged Practincole - Grove Ferry

Bloody typical eh!!!!!!

I'll see if the BOALP will let me have it "in absentia" - its worth a try?

Update From the BOALP - AKA The Listing Police

For those who do not get emails from the British Ornithological Association of Listing Police, I have lifted the pertinent parts from this months update, for the benefit of those who may need it.

"....and following the aforementioned examples of listers arbitrarily adding ticks to their list the listing police are proposing the following regulatory measures:

1. It is now an offence to add a species to ones list more than 48 hours after seeing it. There is concern amongst the listing fraternity that certain desperate listers (usually in land locked counties where there is less opportunity to grow their list) are adding species on occasionally, in the hope that no one notices. This shall be known from now on as Fraudulent List Creep (FLC).

2. Under Part 4, section 34b, subsection 2, paragraph 3.1.2 of the BOALP Guidlines, the BOALP excerise the right to waive this in exceptional circumstances. Should any affiliated listers have reason to add species on after the 48 hour deadline, then there is a 57 page document that can be downloaded here:

www.boalp.com/stringersexcuseform/asp.45rdyh/32a7jsr.asp

This should be completed ASAP and snail mailed to the address at the bottom. The excuse that you are not in a 3G area will no longer wash with the BOALP.


3. The BOALP will now be out in the field, attending major twitches of the mega unblocking variety. They will ask listers at random to cite certain sections of their list eg Please name all calidris on your list. Failure to match 100% with your registered list will result in removal of 5 species from your list - the bird you fucked up on, plus the 4 biggest blockers. You also will not be allowed to twitch these 4 blockers within the next 25 years.

Be warned.....

4 Year ticks and Another 60 Notes of Diesel Burnt Up

Fuck me I'm knackered. Got up at three with the intention of being in Kent when the Black Winged Pratincole was relocated - no such luck I was to find out. Turned up at Grove Ferry at 6am to do a bit of year listing whilst the patch birders in Reculver rediscovered their little gem. Got a spanking male Garganey sat on the mud, seen from the ramp, see below:

A spanking male Garganey

Bollocks it was windy. I nearly lost my scope twice and had to hold it for dear life. Also picked up 3 Wood Sands for my efforts too. There was no news by 9am from the patch birders in Reculver so I popped up there to give 'em a hand but no one was there!!!

Reculver Towers today - proof I did make the effort - check the date on the jpeg

Cheeky sods. Thought about doing a seawatch but tried pulling a leg out of my tripod and the rubber knobbly bit came off the end which meant the leg was stuck half way down, so I needed a trip to B&Q for pliers and superglue to fix it.

With no news of anything else of interest I deduced the the patch birders in Kent obviously weren't in the mood for it today, so I started to head off home. I was a bit wary, as it was still early, and didnt want to run the risk of missing a late mega such as Eastern Bonellis or Black Lark. I dropped in at Lea Valley for the Savis Warbler, but dipped it. Speaking to a local it had not been heard today, and not surprising as the wind was still blowing a force 10. Had great views of Hobby though.

After this I went up to Bedford for the Temmincks Stint. Got it pretty much straight away, along with Yellow Wag for the year (this one was seriously threatening to become my bogey year bird, after Treecreeper of course, oh and Tawny owl, Pintail and all the other bollox I still need for the year).

Temmincks Stint - note the slightly decurved bill which is a characteristic, plus longer tail than Little Stint

After this, I was well and truly knackered, and with no one elses birds left to tick in a homewardly direction, then homeward bound it was. After having a quick catnap on the outside lane of the M6, I pulled over at Cowley Services for something more substantial, and was home for 5pm, thinking I'm glad I didnt fly to Fair Isle today....

2009 Year List 184 BOU

Cowpats!!!

Brown Headed Cowbird on Fair Isle - bastard thing, why couldnt it have been on the mainland!!!!!

A Day out with Spats and Twats

For once I was not driving which made a great change. There were probably no lifers in the offing today, but it was hopefully an opportunity to pick up some scarce year ticks and close the gap on the closet yearlisters further up the chain.

First stop was Paxton where we nailed several Nightingale (lifer for Twat) and I got Hobby for the year (175 BOU). Dipped the Black Tern from the previous night, but we did celebrate with a sausage roll each from Morrisons (cheers Damon). Then it was onto Suffolk for Stone Curlew for the May list - (another lifer for Twat). Following this we went to Lakenheath for the annual pilgrimage for the Golden Orioles. We walked to the 2nd plantation (having managed to pick up another singleton listing type on the way) and within about 15 minutes, had a male singing. Spat #1 then promptly got the bird in his scope by pure chance where it remained for about 30 minutes. We felt most priveleged to get such good views for such a pro-longed period. Being a useless sod it took me about 20 mins to get in my scope, but finally I did and I reel of a few record shots. See below:

Male Golden Oriole, Lakenheath, Suffolk, May 2009...honest guv!!!

We couldn't be arsed with the Purple Heron as it was so elusive and did not want to grip off Mr Stokes on too much stuff. We trundled back to the car, and try as I might I could not string a Garganey on the pools (not with witnesses anyway!!!). Back at the car I was offered a celebratory pork pie, which would have been rude to turn down.

One of the reasons I'm a fat twat

With breaking news of Dotterel at Ringstead off we went, with the usual dip on Golden Pheasant on the way. We had 3 females in the field which made it 4 lifers so far for Matt the Twat, and on the way back down the field a superb Corn Bunting rounded it up to 5.

Then it was off to North Creake for the Montys, and sure enough after about 20 minutes the female flew up in the air, having been flushed by farmer Giles on his quadbike. Unfortunately Matt had gone back to the car and missed it, but he picked it up later and had prolonged views. Whilst it was distant I managed this record shot.

Then it was off to Twitchwell or Dudeswell, depending on how you see it. Definitely Dudeswell today with nothing to twitch and only Eider for the year bringing me up to 179 BOU. Back at the car park the robin strokers amongst us were definitely living up to their name.

Whilst the breaking news at Blakeney of the RR Swallows would have been a British tick for some, I needed to get back, so it was the slow drive back to the Midlands.

With a nodding dog to my right:

and Big V at the wheel, we had had a successful day.

A Swift Exit From Alton Towers

After getting raped up the arse at Alton Towers (£36 to get in, £12 to jump 4 Qs and £5 to park) on Sunday 3rd May, a text from a Shrewsbury Pie Man told me the Pallid Swift was back at Crosby, and he and Richard V were on the way. Fuck it they can't be allowed to grip me off, so it was straight from Alton Towers up to Scouse land for the bland swift.

Within a few minutes of getting there, Archie Archer kindly pointed it out, which was a huge relief as I could not be arsed going through the whole flock. Saw the Spats, who had just filled their boots with crippling views. Gave it about an hour and got much better views later on, when the flock moved around. Another one on the list, and 384 BOU.

A Two Tick Day and 650 Mile Thrash

Saturday 2nd May

Well, what a day. Got to Portland for 5.30am for the Collared Fly. Parked up where you were supposed to and tried to set a precedent as no one else had bothered, they were parking in the village where you shouldn't. Anyway, got "on site" about 10 mins later and there were about 10 listers standing on the footpath looking into the garden, doing exactly what we shouldnt be doing. Ah well join the crowd I thought, the more eyes the better. If I went to the field there would be no one there and I would have to find it meself which is toooo much hassle. Any way had it nailed in about 15 minutes, then legged it off for Bonellis on Avalanche Road. Bit of a boring fuckin bird but it needs nailing onto the list, so hopes were high. After about an hour and a half it was obvious it had done one, so off to the car I marched. Walked past the Collared Fly site and the crowd had grown substantially.

As you can see there were a fair few there by 8am. No wonder we are all called weidos by the locals when you've got that fuckin lot staring in your garden....

Anyway it was time to go to Dunge for another miserable looking bird, a Crested Lark. Its a good blocker to get out the way, so it had to be done. Dropped in on Plastic Fantastic on the way past Radipole, but would not dream of putting it on my list as the listing police would have something to say, I'm sure.

I was quoted 4hrs 20 mins to Dunge, but fuck me with the wind behind me I did it in just over 3. Got there about 11 and found about 50 listers chasing the poor bastard all over the shingle. Joined in the fun and over about 3 hours saw it in flight about 15 times and on the deck once.

At 2pm it was time to head back home, so I left, leaving Steve Richards munchin on his crisps. Couldn't be arsed with the Savis in Essex as I'm not year listing this year, as opposed to some out there. Home for 5.30pm, and 650 miles on the clock (sorry polar bears).

When I've got summat to say, I'll post it